My application for naturalization has progressed to the next phase: I received an invitation to the Naturalization Interview (yes, the one with the civics test that half of Americans wouldn’t pass…) The issue was that it was scheduled in my old home town some 280 miles away, instead of at the St Paul service center, about 23 miles away. This undoubtedly was due to the fact that I had moved after filing, and the application was processed at the other location. Processing at the smaller center that handles far fewer applications was actually to my benefit, because they are much faster, but now I have to either drive or reschedule at St Paul.
I was curious to find out how much longer I would have to wait, if I rescheduled, or if I’d be better off just driving the 280 x 2 miles to the interview. The invitation tells you the location of the office that you must appear at, and on the back side informs you that “You should contact the office listed on the reverse side of this notice if you have questions about the notice, or questions about the status of your application or petition. We recommend you call.” (emphasis theirs). A-ha! So I should call and ask, how much longer it would take to get an appointment at the St Paul office. Except there is no phone number listed for the office listed on the reverse side of the notice. No matter how hard I look.
So I call the 1-800 number for INS/USCIS/BCIS. The automated service doesn’t have an option that sounds correct to me, so I push some buttons and finally get a Customer Service Representative (CSR) on the line. To their credit I have to say that the phone service has improved significantly in the last 8 years. It took me less than 10 minutes (vs. 30-45 min in the past) to get a human on the phone, and before I said anything, she told me her name and CSR number. And she spoke v-e-r-y c-l-e-a-r-l-y with no accent. The instructions were about as helpful as they’ve always been (she didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, and that isn’t on their website), but at least now I know who gave them, and I could understand every word. I told her what my concern was, and for an answer she read some text from a book or off her computer screen. Yes, I knew the implications of failing to appear in person for your scheduled appointment, and no, I wasn’t going to miss it.
Me: so is there any way for you to find out, if rescheduling my interview at the St Paul center it would set me back considerably?
CSR: no, not really, there’s no way for me to find out. You’d have to wait for the next available appointment.
Me: well is there a phone number at that office that I could call?
CSR: no, they don’t have a telephone.
Good to know that they have improved, but I’m still sorry that you have to deal with them. I think that they are one of the worst bureaucracies in the history of bureaucracies, unfortunately they hold a lot of people’s lives in their disorganized hands. I worked with refugees filling out citizenship paperwork a couple of years ago and it was so frustrating.
A few years ago I could have gotten really fired up about it/them, but now I have to deal with them so much less, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, that I just think it’s (mostly) funny. I mean, how hilarious that she actually said the words “they don’t have a telephone”?! How about a telegraph? Morse code? Pony Express?